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Defiance
-p. 5
The cart I pulled
for years
like a Hungarian artillery horse
turned over
And I freed myself
from the heritage
of my most distant ancesstors,
I am prufied.
No Diogenes's lantern
No Aytmatov's Cemile!
I buried my corpse into the day light!
I am looking for myself in the dark
And enjoying to be a denuded human
being.
Letter-
p. 6
Dear mother
For right now I am in Ankara:
This city has many asphalt roads
And the only connection between people
are these asphalt roads.
I know the most beautiful letter is written with
eyes
Alas, there are mountains in-between.
Today, boredom forced me
to back against those mountains
and I wanted to whistle in the middle of Ulus*
center
with my two fingers in my mouth,
but I couldn't.
For dinner, I ate the past in my lost youth.
My single room is
in Doganbey neighborhood.
My uncle's old walnut suitcase
a mat, a mattress,
a pot, and a plate are all I have
and me, the residuum of 25 years,
I am allright.
When my nightly allowance blended with my thirst
for you
I caressed the socks you folded with your hands
before I put my head down on the pillow
I sang "my bad fortune, evil luck" song and
cried.
Mother!
To love humans like adoring trees,
to love children like smelling flowers
to love women like fruits,
and to cherish you in my heart
in short to be human
with naked feet
my hands open,
and the age when I can pee towards the sun
and the pipes cut from a willow tree
mail them to me.
Send me the Spring with her green eyes,
line by line
the winter nights from the fire place
Send me a note that portrays you
let it be sizzling hot, mother!
I watched Ankara
from Cankaya** hills last night
and I saw the earth turning
I saw humans turning
in pain
I saw her returning to me
on a black train
I saw me returning to you.
Ankara streets are dark as the sun breaks
brooks don't add up to creeks
and creeks don't form rivers anymore.
I am trapped in this rotten system
But I am still dreaming a world
filled with cheerful humans
and I say good morning
to the baker each morning
I see the daughter of grocer sweeping the
concrete
Our eyes cross,
she pulls her skirts
and then the day begins
pregnant to many unknowns
with my will a little less certain.
Tell my dear
brother with pitch black eyes
that his elder brother misses him too much.
Last year when he rode the ox into the ditch
I had hit him.
Now, whenever I see the picture of a cow in a
newspaper
my heart aches and
to sing "my bad fortune, evil luck" song
I long for the night.
The year is 1950
in Capital Ankara.
"Goodbye. Bye bye mother"
I meant in short
take care, and I kiss your hands
Mother...
Mourning
- p. 9
In one thousand
nine hundred sixty-seven
he was born in Ankara
and registered
to the 32nd lot in Samlar neighborhood in
Amasya*.
Name: Turkmen
Surname: Toprak
Turkish Citizen, male, and islam.
In August 1, one thousand nine hundred
seventy-five
In Selcuk town of Izmir**
In Zeytinlik beach, in the sea
with his black eyes popped in fear
Died! Turkmen.
With screams,
chants
and prays
buried here, Turkmen.
We called Azrael to the market place-he did not
come.
We knew that this is not the will of creation
but we could not revolt against god, my son.
It is not water that fills your small heart;
We kissed you and kissed your cold forehead.
It was dead at our door this time, not sleep.
With helplessness, we renewed our faith.
We couldn't say that the stream took you away.
"It" brought you
"It" took you away.
___________________________
*Hometown of the poet, a city in Central
Anatolia.
**A port city on the Aegean Sea.
To
Keziban from Dodurga -p. 10
I played hide and
seek at four
under the table tops.
I went to women sessions in public baths
till I turned eight
to see how they remove hair from the crotches
of bride-age girls with sticky
syrup.
I've discovered my
virility
with foals in windmills
and gypsies in Florya.
I made friends in whorehouses and mansions
for twenty-five kurush and melting bricks.
I wandered from fair to fair
in tent theaters and with tombala players
I danced with women in topless bars
and ballrooms too.
Though drum beats always touch my heart,
I enjoyed arias in opera houses.
I began by
cleaning finished goods
in Erenler copper factory.
Then I became a tombala player,
I sold slippers and smuggled fabrics on the
streets
to track my green-eyed mistress.
I never sold a friend,
Yes;
I slept with a donkey, horse, and in jail
but never with what is left to my
care.
I always regarded
graves holy, and respected
callous hands, grandmothers, grandfathers.
I kissed bread with my childish hands
and my son's cold forehead at age 50.
I did not kiss hands at government doors.
In nineteen
forty-six, I smuggled copper,
in nineteen fifties, heroin.
I worked in shops and construction
and built homes.
I carved marble, painted pictures, and built brick
walls.
I raised cattle,
farmed lands, and even became a banker.
I lived life to the fullest,
learned to share my labor,
and to eat without snarling like animals
I lived in love with all of creation and
humans.
I owned hotels, farms, and mansions,
but I did not have a home.
I left nothing to my children that I don't own,
other than my books, paintings, and
sorrow.
After the deaths
of my mother, son, and dog Berde,
I never had a friend
Perhaps, you, the dry rose in my books of
youth,
in Bent Creek*,
the capital of Pashali
Keziban** from Dodurga,
but I am not sure
if you are still alive.
________________________
**A public prostitute house in an old district of
Ankara.
***A woman the poet used to visit at Bent
Creek.
Where -
p. 12
We passed through
the market where hearts were sold.
People were alone
as in the funerals of rich.
We dreamed in the plank-bed of tales.
An apple dropped from the sky we couldn't share
it.
Our boats in that small creek,
Hope songs in our lips
Paddles painted thousands of portraits.
We held the rainbow
We couldn't pass under it.
So where is the
Spring that used to arrive
with the purple of daunted flowers?
The summer, smelled in juniper trees
In monster land, we used to water our horses
with shivering hands of our grandmothers.
So where?
The day when we
stood on both our feet
with children fists squeezed towards future
Happiness shared with a bunch of grapes
The mother's hand that used to scratch our back
So where?
Lovers playing in
hidden corners
Inside, the crushing impact of defeat
If this was living, we did.
In holiday mornings, half happy
Kites behind which we screamed
have been suspended in telegraph wires.
Beauties are half, paintings are half
We got used to sadness again and again,
God!
In the sorrow of
every unrealized dream
days turn into nights
It is true that I forget quickly
and that I've never known love
My hands freeze as my heart burns.
I break into pieces again
Again god,
I realized one more time
I only exist with and for you.
Passion
for Fall - p. 14
It's raining
frantically, child
the rain's crazy, you're crazy
Flower sprouts with water in soil
child grows with play in love
play, child
in rainy weather, like crazy.
You are in pain,
in yourself,
in hearts that beat with yours
broken into pieces, forgotten
your hands get dirty,
don't play, child.
You're in
Istanbul
with its lights buzzing like a female viper
wrapped inside a black cloth
with its sea as in good dreams
you're in Istanbul
without minarets, seagulls, ships
and without passion
when Istanbul isn't in you.
A woman's voice
rings in your ears
half drunk, half depressed
Poplar trees are blowing over your head
Go if you can
you're in Istanbul.
Shut your eyes
against the water
that is fluttering on your feet
If you can shut your eyes
when fire is burning like crazy.
Human phycology is
analyzed
like sodium chlorine
Its synthesis is impossible
No fire can melt the ice
surrounding the hopes.
After so long and once again
the truth rested its fist on your temple
not a single drop is left in your eyes
you can't cry.
In the hallways of
the emergency room tonight,
the dead, draped in American cloth
like bites swallowed into full stomachs
cool, unagitated and pompous
taken to the morgue
without a next of kin.
Play as much as
you can
play, child
You're in Istanbul
somewhere near the sea.
When the sun set
with the kisses you offered to the darkness
the blue bead is broken.
In rainy weather, like crazy
play, child.
They say that one
who does not know
how to die has no right to live.
Like an old refrain
muttered in tender lips
if you learned to die a thousand times
fluttering on the wings of every bird
and lived by loving the universe
your arms drop to the side motionless.
With its
prostitutes, profiteers, believers
And with its history smelling streets
bonding the crowd together
its women, its fish, and bars
you're in Istanbul
when Istanbul isn't in you.
This is a dream,
it's raining frantically.
My crazy heart,
don't stop, just go.
Filled with hope, yearning, separation, and
sorrow
departs from Haydarpasa*
each night at 20:30, the Meram express.
The stars over
your head are small and large
The skullcap mountain will set foot on your
fate
Nostalgia clouds will surround your horizon
If you must burn
it won't be for yearning
but for deception.
As Meram express departs from Haydarpasa
it's filled with hope, separation, and sorrow.
In the sleeper compartment, in Cabin 11
mind, heart, the dead brought from emergency
draped in American cloth, and I.
We were four, holding hands
The same song in our lips
Our hearts, slient and haughty like the skullcap
mountain
I looked at the city that was not with me last
time
We thought of you together
and together, we got drunk
and took shelter in sleep before we reached
Izmit.
The night,
with its light, darkness, and total glory,
had taken the earth into its arms
and was sliding through the window of Cabin 11
And telegraph poles!
"Do birds perch on telegraph lines?
Does everyone burn for love like me?"
They were written on the paper you gave me
on the day you were drunk.
I took out your picture
from my heart to my heart, you wrote on the
back.
Four of us could not share that heart
I searched it in my heart
without a trace until Eskisehir.
I woke up from my
dream with the sounds of salep sellers.
The train stopped.
The road split into two
The heart, mind, and the dead
were still fighting fiercely
to share what is left.
Where to, my devil heart, where?
The road split into two
The numbers grew larger like mountains
Twos became a four, fours became a thousand
and you shattered into a thousand pieces
again.
From the nineteen
forties
I recall a French idiom
"Exile is solitary everywhere".
If you can look at
tears smelling onion
with love, you are in love,
and the dead draped in American cloth
would engage in philosophy,
And would look at women like a meal on a plate,
In white and blue light,
the plain is covered with snow
And there it is, skullcap mountain
And then appeared Konya.
I left the train alone.
Now the three dead
with the days we spent together
are all buried in Nalcaci semetary
The land of saints,
The city of joy,
Mevlana
If it's a sin to love the created
I've sinned million times.
I came to you
As I am.
Falling
In Love - p. 20
I fell in love
once
So I did
Like falling from a roof; once fallen,
even over a matress made with bird feather,
The rule is
If a species loves another species
It either eats it or mates with it,
I love you very much believe me,
and my other love is the quail.
I fell in love once and they say that
One that falls will not have a friend,
but one cannot fall without a friend.
Freedom
- p. 21
I can walk
bearfoot
And think about you.
Do not want time from me.
When our universes coincide
Stars will be born again
I can walk bearfoot
and I can give you those stars.
Hunter
-p . 22
Nearby is the city
founded before Moses.
The place I sat is a graveyard
I am on a mountain hey hey
Across is Kavak village
Behind it is Beysehir lake
Trees, people, streets.
Ants, birds.
A gypsy girl at thirteen
The spring, at the heels of the mountains,
playing.
Hey hey hey!
Like gypsy moth,
invaded my body, the desire to die
nibbling from within.
It's not that easy to die
It must be manly
For example, a bullet to the head
Bang!
Those who hear must say
hunters shot a rabbit.
The man thinking all of this was not cruel
Like wanting to watch the painful death of a
rabbit
He remembered his wife and children
As quietly as it came
the death went away.
Soil's bubbling
with noise
well-bred cows on the grass
And in me is the desire to inoculate
This beautiful and breathing earth
And the time are all
the creator gave to the humans
It's worthless to calculate the death
and cowardness.
It's the rule of the game
If you must, kill and live.
Dirty
Streets - p. 24
I thought of you
my woman...
All night
I couldn't sleep.
It's almost morning, I went to the shore
I am tired and hopeless.
The tomb over which I burned like a candle for my
wishes
has fallen.
Air is filled with rain once more
I want to cry again.
It's almost
morning!
The remnants of the night are about to be swept
away
On the streets of abandonment
Only the imprints of separation will remain
and me.
In the air is your scent
On my flesh is the warmth of your lips
and on my back is a dagger wound
My helplesness,
The sea's fluttering in vain
Only the time is free forever
Where are you, the street sweeper,
sweep me away too.
Reencarnation
- p. 25
I swear
Next time
God willing
I will return to the earth as a bird
I will chirp the most beatiful songs
About love
Among honeysuckle flowers
You, my beauty,
even if you keep a cat
in your house
I'll make love to you out of spite.
A
Handful August Heat - p. 26
One night, Queen
Nefertitis*,
while watching her white tits on the mirror
through date trees
the Nile river was sucking the moon light.
One night
Roses blossomed blood red
in Babylonian gardens
One night - one thousand night
mirrors, roses
blooming in dreams
Neferdite's tits with black berry nipples
And moon light
Tonight,
Near Buyuk Cekmece** shores;
The white-bearded man, sitting on a mound of
soil
shot three bullets for lack of
human honor.
His voice choked in dark waters
Tonight it's raining
On windows, gliding rain drops
On the roof, tin noise
I am sleeping bosom by bosom
with tiredness and hopelesness
Feminine, like soil
Fertile, like soil,
and like soil,
I close the door
to all hungry emotions.
Sounds vibrate
from worker sheds
The next shift is at midnight
I fell a sleep.
The dreams welcome all prettiness
You arrive with a blue flannel gown
with a gorgeous parfume as before
We are in hotel room 210 as before.
We are making love
until tears of happiness in our eyes.
Let's go home
it's cold here, you say
I hold your warmth in my hand,
The day breaks.
My joy in life
My foaled-eye baby,
With gheese breast,
My cancerous tumor,
My painful ornament,
My honey, my girl,
My mulish one,
My unlicensed love.
____________________________________________
*An Egyptian princess (c. 1380 BC) . **A lake near
Istanbul.
In Exile
I. - p. 28
I am in Gebze.
At A. Ipekci street
Deniz Apartment, Block B
Almost a basement is apartment 4.
I'm in a house with a broken window,
and a door cracked in the middle.
It isn't mine
Neither does the furniture inside.
Its ownership is a long story
But I am not paying rent,
And I don't have a penny to spare.
Whatever it's,
I figured how to convert calamity to blessing.
Filthy; it is;
to have or not to have money.
So I give it away
when I get it;
When I don't, I go hungry.
This is nothing,
What kills me is my passion for tobacco
and longing for you.
Bathroom, kitchen
are tidy enough
There's soap, tea, and sugar.
The gas tube was refilled last week
by my young comrade;
The dissident, Veyis Zambak from
Aksehir.
And, our company
includes a young maiden
"Girl Ayse", so petite, she can fall by an air
blow
From behind her large glasses,
Her eyes are caressing and full of love.
We get together at nights
And
Barber Talat, timid, respectful
His hands and heart full whenever he comes
And at the table of poverty
we talk about good things
as much as possible.
On television,
A crook with a tie
gives an oratory about the "great"
things they've done.
I am in Gebze
In the house with a broken window
and a door cracked in the middle
I too want to say good things to people
Good and beautiful
Only flowers and children fill my thoughts
I want to send to you
Good and beautiful things
My hands are filling sorrow
From the sack of separation.
I am struggling
to imagine good and beautiful things.
I want to sing a folk song
To flowers and children
I draw the picture of the sun in the sky and in
blue
In a garden, and trees nearby,
With its smoking chimney, a forgotten house
As in dreams;
A cloud forms by itself
Over the picture
The rain's fertile
The soil's more playful than the seas
And more feminine;
The cosmos is filling with children and
flowers.
Oh God!
I am living;
And with every flower's bloom and every child's
smile
I get closer to you.
A man's freedom is measured by
if he can do what he wants
His humanity is by what he desires.
I am in Gebze
I have a place to stay, tea, sugar, and friends
If alive, my children must be grown up by now,
Whether they have bread, I don't know.
Still,
I want to say beautiful things
to people,beautiful
like flowers and children
with all my might.
Leave my heart
alone
The hand that choke my throat.
I scream with my heart
And you're the flutter of my heart
Like the rubber that scrapes paper
To think of you
cleanses all this
The rest does not matter, my sweetheart
no salt, no bread
It's night and the bed's cold
That's the godly truth.
12/28/1989
Gebze
Holiday
Guard - p. 32
Five apples placed
in a nylon bag,
In the suitcase of blacksmith Hasan;
When he arrived at the construction
They were five apples.
Five apples were five apples.
Without soil, light and water
They multiplied as eaten,
Eaten when multiplied.
In the palette of the bulldozer
In the tire of the truck
Pressed and turned into powder
The fertility of pain, blessing of anger,
like a centipede running for cover,
wandered around.
We swallowed the
soil in hot summer sun,
dirt and dust,
It was not the streets of Izmit
It was not the Fall
Our hands in our pockets
we passed through peanut and peach bazaar
Hungry for a female donkey
Five apple nights,
In devil filled wards,
turned into half-colored laundry
Hanged on barbwires
In short,
Five apples
Multiplied as eaten
Eaten when multiplied
Turned into poisson, into curse
into sweat.
B. Cekmece
1986
Ismail
Hakki - p. 34
Hey you!
Cloud is what's trapped water
Sleep's what's trapped sleepless
Night's in love with day
Day's with night
When death splits time
You'll find them hugging
And watch with disgust
The life you spent
inside a crotch and to keep your belly
full.
Hey you!
Who screams "I am who I am"
A baby holds the sacred secret in his palms
when he clings to the bozom of his mother
You told yourself the first lie
when you sided with the tyrant;
And you did not know why the moth nibbles the
tendril.
Hey you!
With a statue erected into the blood in his
teeth
When right equals plight
They'll rip the shoes from your horse's feet
And our children will not listen to
The middle-age fairy tales
The right only belongs to those who produce
And only those who produce can defend this right.
1986 B.
Cekmece
S.O.S -
p. 35
The ice from the
poles at your feet
The sun from the equator over your head
The mouse who chewed the 20th century bit by
bit
Say hello for me.
To those who chained their heads to earth
Tell them:
From Alan Mountain, Sheppard Mustafa
has fallen in love with the daughter of a lord
And eat the answer they send back, please
Dear mouse.
The agha's
daughter is white
The agha 's daughter is feminine
The agha 's daughter is sparkling
My Mustafa, my dark-eye Mustafa
Your cotton painted hands
The hands, I wish,were broken, my
agha
The pine tree is
beautiful in Alan Mountain
Underneath, Mustafa is in deep sleep
Gorgeous pine, lonely pine
In your drunken eyes is the morning
In your palms is the hot, so hot
night we smashed to bits but could not share
Before one story ends
The next one will begin
Eat them all, I mean all,
Dear mouse.
In
Sleep - p. 36
Seven people are
gambling
All seven are together
My hands are squeezed between loss and profit
Two billion people, and you and I
The obvious difference covered
For now your hair is long, mine is short
How beautiful it would be to live
If, in-between,
There were no decadent values
Two billion people
In Haiti, in Siberia, in Congo
At our feet is earth, over our heads is the sky
Our faith is joined in Milky Way
We are earthlings.
Let's say hello to Jupiter
By breaking the chains attached to brains
Hand-in-hand
Let's lift a flag with nature to hardwork like a
human.
In Hakkari stream,
Zap water curls,
The road curls, the man curls.
The day breaks over lofty mountains
The day breaks towards God
The day breaks over dried droppings
The day breaks over a grave stone
Fellow humans
Our faith is joined in Milky Way
In nature and with all species
We are all brothers and sisters.
Hakkari 1964
31 - p.
37
The first time the
belly of a girl shivers
The firt time a child cries
When a seed cracks in moist soil
When a crocus pops through the snow
It's God's laughter that is heard.
And it's love that surrounds the globe.
The branches of a plane tree
Injured by the claws of love birds
A microbe,
or a baby snake to her mother,
Is it worth less
than a human?
Its heat warms
every bed
It can't be shared like a bite
From the scent of a flower to the bee
From the bee's labor to honey
This is love!
A gift from grandpa to grandchild.
God's gift to time
And to all creatures
The hugging of soil with water
The winter in search of sun
Inscriptions on tomb stones
It's love only love
Is the creation.
Kormas - Siirt
1967
As
Winter Nears - p. 38
In the puddles of
a spring rain
The journey of paper ships ended
The fear of shattered glasses
melted away
with our childhood.
When waves release
watermelon skins to the deserted beach
Long abondoned shoes
will continue to reign
in the love fest of trees.
Human race is resilient
Human race is fearless
Human race is cruel
Living is most precious of all
Time is most enduring.
Quarrel
I - p. 39
One August
night
I tied my rope to the moon
I am flying a kite
The moon walks, I stop
Track-tlone, track-tlone.
Master leave my ear a'lone
Master-clown, master-clown
Frogs in the creek
Crickets in the grass
My hands on my neck
My back against a cedar tree
I am dreaming.
Following behind the kite
Painted all in blue.
I'm in the Milky Way
In the bozom of a beauty
Master it's enough
Leave my ear alone.
Quarrel
II - p. 40
It's impossible
not to have faith
Each morning I turn to the Creator
and wish well
for all the creatures.
What I mean is:
Like a gram of iron or a gram of cotton
Can you give me a second in the palms of your
hands?
Can you cut and measure time with a pair of
scissors
In meters?
My fellow humans and all creatures
Mothers are holy, of course.
Isn't the soil the mother of all of
us?
Though I was born
as naked
as all human babies
Like a stamp on a parcel of mail
or a commodity in the window of a shop
They put a tag on my back
before I was dressed:
Turk and Islam.
Muslim, Christian, Budist, Jewish
whatever we are,
How many gods have we created until now?
For sure, every brain must have a universe
But:
"It" is zero; I cannot say "It" does or "It" does
not exist
The two concepts are the opposites of one
another
"It" comes from one and goes to the other
And mathematics begins with two.
Half of two is one, a piece of a piece
Who can dare to divide "It" into pieces?
Can you divide the time in width or in length
Can you freeze
the nuances that we feel with our five senses
before they occur?
Then,
since one is not born at age zero,
life is a continuum
from the moment of creation
and fate is constant,
and future holds not what is probable
but what will happen.
Probability is the admission of our inability.
What's intelligence, what's will? and what's
knowledge?
"It" is a process to which they too are a part.
If the past led to the present
without our comprehension
What can we change
Please tell me!
If I said all of
this,
That too is by fate.
Life is a such a movie unrolling
tha the projector cannot rewind or stop
We are both players and spectators
The purpose of life
is hidden beneath its continuity.
To live and let live is
the key to absolute tranquility.
and it's the reward.
Maybe, the human
brain
will develop the 10th sense
to surpass the speed of light
It'll get a little closer to "It"
And the fate beyond death
will be revealed:
Heaven? Hell? or What?
I know;
Even if they comprehend what fate is
They'll refuse
to accept "It"
not to loose
their rotten reign
My fellow
humans
I've been programmed to say all this
This is creator's creation
Therefore,
I consider all of the past and future
together with all of the creation holy
I am not who I am.
In truth, "It" is the same in all religions
"It" is a mystery in progress
Brain, intelligence, will, and
everything else,
material or abstract
they too are all part of "It".
Quarrel
III - p. 43
I am me
and you are you
I am you
and you are me
We're born together
from the same womb
at the same time
and we are not twins
Many years are gone by
Head to head toe to toe
Bosom by bosom
We fell in love
We became enemies
One's good
Other's bad
Or just the opposite
While I slept
You took flight in the wings of the night
As you desired
While you're hungry
I gorged myself in feasts
I let live and you killed
You cried, I laughed.
Light glows and
dims
It expands, shrinks and diminishes
It meets the dark
The dark is what it is.
Creator is hidden in the dark
Light is a path to the Creator
Light changes
"It" doesn't.
You sell, I
purchase
I'm stuck in-between
Tell me, Who are you?, Who am I?
We died
and got burried in the same place
Our worlds are rejoined
You and I were never separated
since the time of creation
Perhaps,
the colors of our eyes do not match
and our hairs
sometimes long, sometimes short
And we wear colorful dresses
that don't look similar
I'm a humanbeing
You're an animal
I'm an animal
You're a humanbeing
And so we ended up fighting
Committed crimes.
I'm a prey, you're
a hunter
You're a prey, I'm a hunter.
-What's your father's name?
-Yours?
-Where were you born?
-The same place as you were
-You like humans and all other creatures?
-Even you. You like fighting.
-No I don't
-I can lock you up
-No, you can't
I close my eyes, fly through the iron bars,
and wander around as I wish
-I can starve you
-You can eat for me
-I can force you to stay up
-You can't sleep either, and your wife won't come
near you
She will know that you're the real culprit
My feelings will find me in my cell when I wake
up
-I can enter the cell
-I can kill you
-No you can't
I'll live forever
-You're a tiger, and I'm the man that you've
eaten
-I'm in your blood
-You son of a bitch, thief
-A wise man does not sling a stone into mud
-I'm a piece of mud
If you wish, I can turn into a pot
or into soil,
but please do not piss on me more.
Hasan-The
son of Hasan -p. 101
I've seen so many
corpses
As in the two of hearts and dead without dying
She began the story with a "Bismillah".
The wife of boldhead Ali, Aunt Hatca
was pointing to the location of the wound
The bullet entered his chin from underneath
and left from above.
Gendarmes ambushed Hasan, the murderer, and shot
him.
I was a child.
It was during wheat harvesting in 1933.
That day
From Karsan village to the town center
Women and children patch by patch
Peasants
lined up on Turhal-Amasya highway.
In the front, the village director, Uncle Riza
Bey
Then the sergeant and Gendarmes
Their horses amble
In the middle, the oxes and a cart
In the cart lied a man upside down
Hasan-the son of Hasan.
Slinging head of
the dead is lime white
drip by drip on the road
emptied its blood.
At the end, with his hands cuffed
and tied to the cart with a rope
The Hasan the father of Hasan
was pulling behind.
When his son lying in the cart
was born, he was in Yemen
and because they did not expect his return
they had named his son after him.
His face was sun
burned
his forehead was unspotted.
He couldn't grab his cap
his upright head was naked.
His eyes, like two bottomless wells
without water,
could not cry.
In front of him, Hasan of Hasans
the corpse of his son Hasan
the cart and oxes
Gendarmes
and the village director.
Horses with silver saddles were amble
in the pompous convoy.
I was a child
and this was the first corpse I saw.
It was the summer of 1933.
From Karsan
village to Amasya, the city of crown princes
Our masters and babies
followed this convoy.
Then I saw Recep from Zigala village
One should not question god's rain
They said he had pleurisy
He was my classmate.
Then I saw Murad from Bayburt
at Ercis Kockopru.
At Bekrani Yako Agha's quarries
underneath a huge stone his head flat like a
tray.
He would marry that fall
if he could return home.
Too many deaths to
count;
Not counting the heart stopped by the two of
hearts
I've seen too many dead, and dead without
dying.
Then the death of mother, father, brother, and
son.
Hey!
Let us start all over
like refrains in songs:
Riders in front
with their silver saddled horses amble
The director Riza Bey and Gendarmes
oxes in the middle
and the cart creaking with an oiled axle.
On it, Hasan of Hasans,
drip by drip with his blood on the road.
From Karsan village to the city center
Men, women, children, and curious minds,
clapped the veteran of Yemen,
the man without the cap,
Hasan with sun burned face and unspotted head,
and of course applauded the honor of the
outcast.
It was 1933, and I
was a child.
Fifty years later, in Cesi's place in Ankara
and with the man killed by the two of hearts,
I salute with all my heart
all the men of the underground
Cesi, Kotan, and all others.
As shadows move
with light
Caliph Omar aches in pain
Yet rulers of the day
have no clue
about the honor of the outcast.
Hey!
Humans
My brothers
Earthlings
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Ankara
1996
Hold Me
- p. 105
Hold me in your
wet hands
Isn't living like a drop of water,
No one can forget the spring
in the shade of a rock?
Let us pick pansies
Hold me in your wet hands.
Riddle -
p. 106
In Ankara
I am near Kurtulus Park.
The 1:00 am train came and left
The siren sound cut the night
like a knife
Trains arrive and leave
on them, the passengers
some rich some poor
some hopeful some not
some come and some go
Summers come and go
Winters come and go
Roads come and go
Years come and go
"It" comes
I go.
|
Isyan
-p. 5
Yilllarca
Cins bir Macar Kadanasi gibi
Sabirla cektigim araba devriliverdi
Ve beni bilmem kacinci dedemin varolusuna
goturen birikimi
Attim sirtimdan,
Arindim.
Ne Diyojen'in feneri
Ne Aytmatov'un Cemilesi
Simdi gun isigina gomdum cesedimi
Karanlikta kendimi ariyorum
Ve cirilciplak insan olmanin tadina
variyorum
Mektup-
p. 6
Anacigim
Simdilik Ankara'dayim:
Bu kentin bir suru asfalt yolu vardir
Ve insanlari birbirine baglayan
Yalniz bu asfalt yollardir.
Bilirim mektubun en guzeli gozlerle yazilanidir
Ama ne care,
Daglar var ara yerde
Bugun sIkIntidan o daglara yaslanip
Iki parmagimla bastirarak dilimi
Ulus meydaninin ortasinda islik calmak istedim;
Olmadi.
Aksam yemegi yerine yitik gencligimde gecmisi
yedim
Bekar
odam, Doganbey mahallesinde.
Dayimin Jandarmalardan aldigi ceviz bavul,
Bir hasir, bir yatak,
Tencere, tabak, vesaire, butun esyam;
Ve ben yirmibes yilin artigi
Sagligim yerinde.
Aksamki azigim senin ozleminle birlesince
Ellerinle katladigin coraplarini sevdim
Basimi yastiga koymadan once.
Kara bahtim kem talihim turkusunu tutturup
agladim.
Ana!
Agac sever gibi insanlari sevmek,
Cicek sever gibi cocuklari,
Ve meyve gibi kadinlari
Seni gonlumce,
Tum yaratiklari severek yasamak.
Hasili insan olmak
Ayaklarim ciplak
Ellerim acik,
Gunese karsi iseyebildigim cagi,
Sogut dalindan duduklerimle
Postala bana.
Yesil gozlu Bahar kizi satir satir
Ocak basindan kis gecelerini citir citir
Bir soz iletki seni hatirlatir
Simsicak olsun ana.
Ankara'yi
seyrettim dun gece Cankaya sirtlarindan
Ve dunyayi donerken gordum
Donerken gordum insanlari
Sancili
Donerken gordum onu bana
Kara tren icinde.
Kendimi sana donerken gordum ana
Gun dogarken Ankara sokaklari karanlik
Dereler cay, caylar irmak olmuyor artik.
Bu bozuk duzen icinde yapayalnizim.
Gene de bir dunya dusluyorum;
Mutlu kisilerle dolu.
Ve gunaydin diyorum iyimserlikle
Her sabah simitciye.
Tasligi supururken goruyorum
Bakkalin kizi Selma'yi
Yan gozle bakisiyoruz
Eteklerini cekistiriyor
Ve sonra gun basliyor
Nice kuskulara gebe
Biraz daha yitiyorum gucumu.
Kara
kozlu kardesime deki!
Seni ozlemis agan,
Gecen yil arka dusurunce komus inegini
Dogmustum onu.
Simdi bir inek resmi gorsem gazetelerde
Icime sizi duserde
"Kara bahtim kem talihim" turkusunu soylemek
icin
Geceyi beklerim.
Yil
bindokuzyuzelli Baskent Ankara.
Good-bye. Bye bye mother
demek istedimki kisaca
Esenkal, ellerinden operim
Ana...
Agit -
p. 9
Bindokuzyuzaltmisyedi
yili hazirani
Ankara'da dogup
Amasya Samlar Mahallesi otuziki nolu haneye
kaydolundu.
Adi: Turkmen
Soyadi: Toprak
T.C. Vatandasi, erkek ve de Islam
Bindokuzyetmisbes Agustosunun birinci gunu
Izmir'in Selcuk kazasi
Zeytinlik sahilinde, denizde,
Kara gozleri korkuyla kocaman
Seyrederek insanlari
Oldu! Turkmen
Cigliklar, agitlar
Ve dualar arasinda
Buraya gomuldu Turkmen
Cagirdik gelmedi pazar yerine Azrail
Bildik yaratilisin hukmu bu degil
Isyan edemedik tanriya oglum
Ufacik yuregini dolduran su degil;
Optuk, optuk sogumus alnindan
Bu kez kapimizdaki olum imis uyku degil.
Caresiz kaldik ve inandik
Diyemedik su goturdu
"O" getirdi
"O" goturdu.
___________________________________
Dodurgali
Keziban'a -p. 10
Dort yasimda
saklambac oynadim,
Masa altlarinda.
Kadinlar hamamina gittim sekiz yasina kadar
Gormek icin
Apis aralarina agda vurulusunu
Gelinlik kizlarin.
Degirmen onunde
sipalar,
Florya'da cingene kizlariylaTanidim erkekligi.
Yirmibes kurus ve kremit eritme pahasina
Genel evlerde dostlarim oldu
Kosklerde de.
Dolastim panayir panayir
Cadir tiyatrolari ve tombalacilarla
Alemlerde kadin oynattim
Balolarda da.
Her ne kadar davul sesiyle titrese de yuregim
Arya dinledim Operalarda.
Once odun
talasiyla mamul esya sildim
Erenler bakir fabrikasinda.
Sonra tombalaci oldum
Sokaklarda terlik ve kacak kumas sattim,
Yesil gozlu kirigimin izini bulmak icin.
Dost satmadim.
Dogrudur;
Essekle, atla yattigim ve de hapiste.
Asla emanetle yatmadim.
Kutsal saydim
mezarlari
Nasirli elleri, nineleri, dedeleri
Optum cocuk ellerimle ekmegi
ve oglumun sogumus alnini elli yasinda.
Devlet kapisinda el opmedim.
Bindokuzyuzkiraltilarda,
bakir
Bindokuzyuzellilerde afyon kacakciligi,
Tezgahtarlik, amelelik yaptim.
Santiye sefligide, muteahhitlikte
Mermer oydum, resim cizdim, duvar ordum,
Hayvancilik yaptim,
Ciftcilikte Bankerlikte.
Enine yasamayi ogrendim sureyi
Paylasmayi ogrendim emegimi
Ve hayvanlar gibi hirlamadan yemeyi.
Severek yasadim tum yaratilisi, insanlari.
Hanlarim, ciftligim, konaklarim oldu;
Evim olmadi.
Cocuklarima hicbirsey birakmadim, benim olmayan
Kitaplarim, resimlerim ve acidan
baska.
Anam, oglum ve
kopegim Berde oleli
Sevenim olmadi,
Bir de sen, gencligimin kitaplari arasinda
kurumus cicek
Bent deresinde
Pasalinin sermayesi
Dodurgali Keziban
Sagmisin bilmiyorum.
_______________________________
Nerde -
p. 12
Yureklerin
satildigi pazardan gectik
Zengin olusu kadar
Yalnizdi insanlar.
Dus gorduk masallarin kerevetinde.
Gokten bir elma dustu bolusemedik.
Su kucuk derede kayiklarimiz
Umut sarkilari dudaklarimizda
Kurekler binlerce tablo cizerdi.
Gok kusagini tuttuk
Altindan gecemedik.
Hani nerde!
Yilgin ciceklerin moruylay gelen bahar
Ardic dallarinda koklanan yaz
Devler ulkesinde su icirirdik yagiz atlara
Ninelerimizin titreyen avuclarindan.
Nerde?
Iki ayagimizin
ustune dikildigimiz ilk gun
Gelecege sIkIlan cocuk yumruklari
Bir salkim uzumle paylasilan sevinc
Sirtimizi kasiyan ana eli
Nerde?
Kuytularda evcilik
oynanan sevgililer
Icimizde ezikligi yenilmisligin
Yasamaksa bu yasadik.
Bayram sabahlarinda cocuk sevinci yarim
Pesi sira aglanan ucurtmalar,
Telgraf tellerine takili kaldi.
Guzellikler yarim, resimler yarim.
Alistik olum acisina yeniden Tanrim.
Her yarim kalisin
huznunde
Gunler geceye donusur.
Dogrudur cabuk unuttugum
Ve bilmedigim sevgiyi
Yanarken yuregim, ellerim usur.
Yeniden parcalanirim.
Yeniden tanrim
Bir kere daha anladim
Yalniz senin icin ve seninle
varim.
Guz
Sevdasi -p. 14
Yagmur yagiyor
cocuk, delicesine
Yagmur deli sen deli
Suyla buyur cicek toprakta
Cocuk sevgide oyunla
Oyna cocuk
Yagmurlu havalarda delicesine.
Acilar icindesin
kendince
Seninle atan yureklerde.
Kirilmis paramparca olmussun
Unutulmussun
Ellerin kirlenir oynama cocuk.
Istanbuldasin
Isiklari, ugultusu
Kara carsafa sarilmis disi bir yilan misali
Dost ruyalara giren deniziyle
Istanbul'dasin
Minaresiz, martisiz, gemisiz
Ve sevgisiz
Istanbul sende degilken.
Bir kadin sesi
cinliyor kulaklarinda
Yari sarhos, yari bezgin
Kavak yelleri estiriyor basinda
Git gidebilirsen
Istanbul'dasin.
Yum gozlerini
Ayaklarinda cirpinan sulara karsi
Yumabilirsen
Boylesine yanarken ates.
Sodyum klorur gibi
analizi yapiliyor
Insan psikolojisinin
Sentezi mumkun degil
Hicbir sicaklik eritemiyor
Umutlari Saran buzu
Nice sonra iste yine
Yumrugu dayadi sakagina gercek.
Bir damla yas kalmadi gozlerinde verecek
Aglayamazsin.
Bu gece acil
servisin koridorunda
Amerikan bezine sarilmis olu
Tok karinlara giden lokmalar gibi
Sakin, telassiz ve gorkemli
Morga goturuldu
Kimsesi yokmus dediler sadece.
Oyna
oynayabildigin kadar
Oyna cocuk
Istanbul'dasin
Denize yakin bir yerlerde
Gun bittiginde
Karanliga sundugun opucuklerle
Kirildi mavi boncuk.
Yagmurlu havalarda delicesine
Oyna cocuk.
Yasamaya hakki
yokmus
Olmeyi bilmeyenin
Korpe dudaklarda rastgele mirildanan
Eski bir nakarat gibi
Ucan her kusun kanadinda cirpinarak
Bin kere ogrenmissen olmeyi
Ve severek yasamizsan evreni
Iki yana duser kalir kollarin.
Fahiseleri
vurgunculari, muminleriyle
Ve tum kalabaligi birbirine baglayan
Tarih kokulu sokaklariyla
Kadini, baligi, meyhaneleriyle
Istanbul'dasin.
Istanbul sende degilken
Bir hayal bu
Yagmur yagiyor delicesine
Haydi gel gonlum
Durma git
Umut, ozlem, ayrilik, tasa yuklu
Her aksam 20:30'da kalkiyor
Haydarpasa'dan Meram Expresi.
Basinda ucusan
yildizlar buyuklu kucuklu.
Bahtina mekan kuracak takkeli dag
Saracak ufkunu hasret bulutlari
Yanman gerekirse
Ozleme degil
Aldanmisliga yanacaksin.
Meram expresi kalkarken Haydarpasa'dan
Umut, ayrilik, tasa yuklu.
Yataklinin onbir nolu kabininde
Akil, duygu ve acil servisten getirilen
Amerikan bezine sarili olu ve ben
Dort kisiydik elele
Dudaklarimizda ayni turku
Takkeli dag gibi magrur ve suskun yuregimiz
Son bir kere baktim benimle olmayan sehre
Birlikte dusunduk seni
Ve birlikte sarhos olup
Sigindik uykuya
Izmit'e gelmeden once.
Gece
Isigi, karanligi ve butun hasmetiyle dunyayi
Almis koynuna
Onbir nolu kabinin camlarindan kayiyordu.
Ve telgraf direkleri.
Telgrafin tellerine kuslarmi konar?
Herkes sevdigine boylemi yanar?
Sarhos oldugun gun,
Bana verdigin kagitta yazili bunlar.
Fotografini cikardim.
Canimdan canima diyorsun arkasinda.
Biz dort kisi paylasamadik o cani
Ben de aradim kendimce
Bulamadim Eskisehir'e varana dek.
Salepcilerin
sesiyle uyandim hayallerden.
Tren durdu.
Ikiye ayrildi yol
Gonul ve akil ve olu
Hala kiyasiya kavga ediyordu
Paylasabilmek icin kalani.
Nereye deli gonul nereye?
Ikiye ayrildi yol
Daglarca buyudu sayilar
Ikiler dort oldu, dortler bin
Ve sen bin parca oldun yeniden.
Bindokuzyuzkirklardan,
Fransizca bir metni animsadim
"Surgun her yerde yalnizdir"
Sogan kokan gozyaslarina
Severek bakabiliyorsan
Asik olmussun,
Ve felsefe yapacaktir,
Amerikan bezine sarili olu.
Ve tabakta yemek gibi bakacaktir kadina,
Beyaz, mavi isiklar icinde
Karla kapli ova
Gorundu takkeli dag
Gorundu Konya.
Tek basima indim trenden
Simdi uc olu
Seninle oldugum gunlerle birlikte
Nalcaci mezarligina gomulu
Erenler yurdu,
Gulen sehir,
Mevlana
Gunahsa sevmek yaratilani
Milyonkere gunahkarim ben.
Iste oldugum gibi
Geldim sana.
Sevmek
-p. 20
Gonlum dustu bir
kere
Duserya
Damdan duser gibi; dusmeye gorsun insan
Kus tuyu yatak bile olsa altindaki yer
Kural bu
Yiyecek ya da ciftlesecektir
Bir canli bir canli seviyorsa eger.
Cok ama cok seviyorum seni inan
Bir de bildircin etini
Gonlum dustu bir kere
Olmazmis dusenin dostu
Dusmezki dostu olmayan.
Ozgurce
- p. 21
Yalin ayak
yuruyebilir,
Seni dusunebilirim.
Zaman isteme benden.
Evrenlerimiz cakistiginda
Yildizlar dogacak yeniden
Yalin ayak yuruyebilir,
Ve sana o yildizlari verebilirim.
Avci -p
. 22
Yanimda Musa'dan
once yasayan kent
Oturdugum yer mezar
Dagdayim hey hey
Karsida Kavak Koyu
Arkasinda Beysehir Golu
Agaclarm insanlar, yollar,
Karincalar, kuslar.
Onucunde bir Cingene kizi
Karli daglarin eteginde oynasiyor bahar
Hey hey hey
Kara kafali agac kurtlari gibi
Girdi bedenime olum istegi denen sey
Kemirmede.
Kolay degil bu is
Biraz erkekce olmali
Ornegin bir kursun sIkmali beyne
Gum.
Duyanlar avcilar demeli
Tavsan vurdular.
Acimasiz degildi dusunen adam
Bir tavsanin can cekismesini seyredecek kadar
Cocuklarini ve karisini hatirladi
Geldigi gibi sessizce iz birakmadan
Gitti olum.
Fikir fikir
toprak
Cayirda cins inekler
Ve icimde asilama duygusu
Boyle guzel canli doga
Zamandan baska birsey vermedi
Yaratan insana
Boktan isi olum hesabi yapmak
Ve korkaklik
Oyunun kurali
Gerekirse oldur ve yasa.
Kirli
Sokaklar - p. 24
Seni dusundum
kadinim
Butun gece
Uyuyamadim.
Sabah oluyor, kiyiya indim
Yorgun ve caresizim
Yikildi
Dileklerimle mum olup yandigim turbe.
Hava yagmurlu yine;
Yine aglamak geliyor icimden.
Sabah oluyor!
Birazdan supurulecek gecenin artiklari
Terkedilmisligin sokaklarinda
Yalniz ayriligin izleri kalacak supurulmeyen
Ve ben
Havada kokun var
Tenimde dudaklarinin sicakligi
Ve sirtimda hancer yarasi
Caresizligim
Denizin cirpinisi bosuna
Yalniz zamandir ki alabildigine ozgur
Haydi gel neredesin copcu kardes
Beni de supur.
Reenkarnasyon
- p. 25
Andolsun
Bir dahaki sefer
Nasipse eger
Kus olarak gelecegim dunyaya.
En guzel sarkilari soylecegim
Sevda ustune
Hanimeli cicekleri arasinda
Guzelim sen
Evinde
Bir tane kedi beslesen de
Inadina sevisecegim.
Bir Avuc
Agustos Sicagi - p. 26
Bir gece Kralice
Nefertiti*
Tombul ak memelerini seyrederken aynada
Hurma dallari arasindan
Ay isigini emmekteydi Nil Nehri.
Bir gece
Guller acti kan kirmizi
Babil bahcelerinde
Bir gece - binbir gece
aynalar guller
Cicek aciyor hayallerde
Nefrediti'nin karadut basli memeleri.
Ve ay isigi
Bu gece,
Buyuk Cekmece Golu kiyisinda;
Toprak yiginlarina oturmus ak sakalli adam
Uc kursun sikti yokluguna
Insan onurunun
Karanlik sularda boguldu sesi
Bu gece yagmur var
Camlarda suzulen damlalar
Catida teneke tikirtisi
Yorgunluk ve umutsuzlukla
Koyun koyuna yatiyorum
toprak gibi disi
Toprak gibi dogurgan
Ve toprak gibi ac olan
Tum duygulara
Kapimi kapatiyorum.
Isci
barakalarindan sesler geliyor
Vardiye degisimi, geceyarisi
Uyumusum.
Dusler tum guzelliklere acik
Mavi fistolu pazen geceliginle geldin
Gene eskisi guzel koular surunmussun
Gene ikiyuz on numarali otel odasindayiz.
Sevisiyoruz.
Beraber aglayincaya kadr zevkten
Hadi gel eve gidelim,
Burasi soguk diyorsun
Sicakligini avucluyorum
Gun doguyor.
Yasama
sevincim
Sipa gozlum,
Kaz goguslum,
Kanser tumorum
Acili susum,
Balim kizim,
Huysuzum,
Vesikasizim benim.
______________________________
*Eski Misir da bir
prenses.
Surgunde
I - p. 28
Gebze'deyim
A. Ipekci Caddesi
Deniz Apartmani B Blok.
Yari bodrum
Dort numarali konut,
Caminin biri, kapisinin ortasi kirik evdeyim
Mulk baskasinin
Icindeki esyalar baskasinin.
Mal sahipligi biraz karisik
Kira odemiyorum,
Zaten param da yok ya
Her ne ise
Ogrendim musibetten "nimet cikarmayi.
Pislik;
Para da, parasizlikta
Onun icin dagitiyorum
Buldugumda;
Yoklugunda ac yatiyorum.
Bir sey degil butun bunlar
Canima okuyor su tutun tutkusu
Bir de hasret.
Banyo, mutfak
duzgunce, yeteri kadar
Sabun, cay ve sekerim var.
Bir hafta evvel degistirdi gaz tupunu
Cicegi burnunda genc arkadasim;
Aksehir'li Veyis Zambak, fikir
surgunu.
Bir de kizimiz var
ince mi ince
Uflesen dusecek, "Ayse kiz"
Kocaman yuvarlak gozluklerinin arkasindan
Sevgiyle oksar gibi bakiyor insana.
Aksamlari toplaniyoruz
Ve
Berber Talat urkek, saygili
Her gelisinde dolu elleri ve yuregi.
Ve sofrasindan sefaletin
Guzel seyler konusuyoruz
Bulabildigimizce.
Televizyonda
Gravatli eskiyanin biri
Guzel seyler diyor
yaptiklarimiz.
Gebze'deyim
Caminin biri, kapisinin ortasi kirik evde
Guzel seyler soylemek istiyorum ben de
Insanlara,
Iyi guzel seyler
Yalniz cicekler ve cocuklar geliyor aklima
Guzel ve iyi seyler
Gondermek istiyorum sana
Huzun dolduruyor avuclarim
Ayrilik dagarcigindan.
Guzel ve iyi seyler dusunmek icin
Cirpiniyorum.
Turku soylemek istiyorum,
Ciceklere ve cocuklara,
Gunes resmi ciziyorum gokyuzune ve mavide
Bahce icinde ve yaninda agaclar,
Tuten bacasi ile kapisi unutulmus ev
Duslerdeki gibi;
Bir bulut olusuyor kendiliginden
Resmin ustunde.
Yagmur yagiyor bereketli,
Toprak daha oynaktir denizlerden
Ve daha disi;
Cocuklar ve ciceklerle doluyor
evren.
Tanrim!
Yasiyorum;
Ve her cicek acisi, her cocuk gulusunde
Sana yaklasiyorum.
Insanin ozgurlugu
Istedigini yapabilmesine baglidir
Ve insanligi ne istedigine.
Gebze'deyim
kalacak yerim, cayim, sekerim
arkadaslarim var
Sagsalar cocuklarim buyumuslerdir,
Onlarin ekmegi var mi? Bilmiyorum.
Gene de
Guzel seyler soylemek istiyorum
Insanlara,
Cicekler ve cocuklar gibi guzel
Gucumun yettigi kadar.
Yuregimi bana
birak
Bogazimi sikan el.
Ben yuregimle bagiriyorum
Ve sensin yuregimin cirpinisi
Kagidi yrtarcasina cekilen bir silgi gibi
Temizliyor butun bunlari
Seni dusunmek.
Otesi bos canimin ici
ne tuz ne ekmek
Vakit gece ve yatak soguk,
Iste tanrisal gercek.
28/12/1989
Gebze
Bayram
Nobeti - p. 32
Naylon torbaya
konmus bes elma,
Demirci Hasan Ustanin bavulunda;
Yoklugunu bitirip santiyeye geldiginde
Bes elmaydi
Bes elma bes elmaydi.
Topraksiz, isiksiz ve susuz
Yendikce cogaldi,
Cogaldikca yendi.
Dozerin paletinde,
Kamyonun lastiginde
Ezile ezile toz lodu
Acinin ozlemi, hincin bereketi
Can derdine dusmus kirk ayak misali
Dolasti.
Yaz gunesinde
kavrulmus topragi,
Yuttuk tozu dumani,
Ne Izmit sokaklariydi
Ne sonbahar
Ellerimiz ceplerimizde
Fistiklarin, seftalilerin pazarindan gectik
Disi esege hasret
Bes elma geceleri,
Seytanla yatilan koguslarda
Yari renkli camasir oldu.
Tel orgulere asili
Velhasili
Bes elma
Yendikce cogaldi,
Cogaldikca yendi,
Zehir oldu, kufur oldu
Emek oldu.
1986 B.
Cekmece
Ismail
Hakki - p. 34
Hey sen!
Bulut tutsakligi suyun,
Uyku uykusuzlugun.
Gunduz geceye tutkun,
Gece gunduze
Sureyi boldugunde olum
Ikisini kucaklamis bulacak insan
Igrenerek seyredecek
Karin tokluguna
Ve apis arasinda tukettigi omru.
Hey sen!
Ben benim diyen
Kutsal gizemi avuclarinda tutar
Anasinin memesine yapistiginda cocuk
Ilk yalani soylediginde kendine
Zorbayi hakli saymakla;
Ve bilemedin tirtilin filizi neden
kemirdigini.
Hey sen!
Dislerindeki kana anit dikilen
Hakla sart esitlendiginde
Sokecekler atinin nallarini
Ve cocuklarimiz dinlemeyecek
Ortacag masallarini
Yalniz calisip uretenindir hak
Ve bu hakki korumak.
1986 B.
Cekmece
S.O.S -
p. 35
Ayaklarinda
kutuplarin buzu,
Basinda ekvatorun gunesi,
Yirminci asri didik didik kemiren fare
Dunyayi beyinlere pranga yapanlara
Selam soyle benden.
De ki:
Alan daigndan Coban Mustafa
Aganin kizina asikmis
Verecekleri cevabi da ye emi
Sevgili Fare.
Aganin kizi
beyaz,
Aganin kizi disi,
Aganin kizi isil isil.
Mustafam kara gozlu Mustafam
Elleri pamuk boyasi,
Elleri kirilasi agam
Alan Daginda cam
agaci guzel
Altinda Mustafa uyur misil misil.
Guzel cam, yalniz cam,
Sarhos gozlerinde sabah
Avuclarinda sicak sicak
Paramparca edip paylasamadigimiz aksam
Biri bitmeden oykunun
Digeri baslayacak
Hepsini, hepsini ama hepsini ye
Emi; Sevgili Fare.
Uykuda -
p. 36
Yedi kisi kumar
oynuyor
Yedisi ortak
Zararla kar arasina sIkIsmIs ellerim.
Iki milyar insan ve seninle ben
Belirgin ayrintimiz ortulu.
Simdilik senin sacin uzun, benim kisa
Ne guzel olurdu yasamak
Aramizda,
Yozlasmis degerler olmasa
Iki milyar insan
Haiti'de Sibirya'da Kongo'da
Ayaklarimizda yer, yukarda gokyuzu
Samanyolunda kaderimiz bir
Dunyaliyiz.
Selam soyleyelim Jupiter'e
Beyinlere takilan zincirleri kirip
El ele verelim
Bayrak acalim dogayla, cabaya
insanca
Hakkari Deresinde
Zap suyu kivrilir,
Yol kivrilir, kisi kivrilir.
Gun dogar yuce daglar ustune,
Gun dogar tanriya karsi
Gun dogar tezekler ustune,
Gun dogar mezar tasina
Insanoglu
Samanyolu bir kaderimiz
Dogaya karsi ve butun yaratilmislarla
Kardesiz.
1964 Hakkari
31 - p.
37
Ilk kez
titrediginde genc kizin gobegi,
Ilk kez agladiginda cocuk,
Catlayinca tohum nemli toprakta,
Karlari delince cigdem,
Tanrinin gulucugudur duyulan.
Ve sevgidir evreni dolosan.
Cinar agacinin dallarini
Sevisen kuslarin tirnaklari incittigi zaman
Herhangi bir mikrop
Daha mi az degerli?
Ve yilan yavrusu anasina
Insandan.
Her yatagi isitir
sicakligi,
Lokma degil bolusulmez
Cicegin kokusunda ariya
Arinin cabasinda bala
Sevgidir bu!
Dededen toruna armagan.
Tanrinin bagisi zamana
Ve tum canlilara
Suyla kucaklasmasi topragin
Gunesin ozleminde kis
Mezartaslarinda nakis
Sevgidir yalniz sevgi
Yaratilis.
1967 Kormas -
Siirt
Kis
gelirken - p. 38
Bir bahar
yagmurunun golcuklerinde
Kagittan gemilerin yolculugu bitti
Kirilan bardaklarin korkusu
Cocuklugumuzla birlikte
Eride gitti.
Biraktiginda dalgalar
Karpuz kabuklarini terkedilmis kumsala
Hukmunu surecek
Atilmis eski ayakkabilar
Sevisilen agac golgelerinde.
Insanoglu dayanikli,
Insanoglu korkusuz,
Insanoglu acimasiz,
Herseyden guzel yasamak.
Herseyden guclu zaman.
Kavga I
- p. 39
Bir Agustos
gecesi
Ipimi bagladim aya
Ucurtma ucuruyorum
Ay yuruyor, ben duruyorum.
Trik-trak trik-trak.
Usta kulagimi birak
Usta-cirak usta-cirak
Derede kurbagalar,
Cayirda circir bocekleri,
Ellerimi enseme bagladim
Sirtim bir mese agacina dayali
Hayal kuruyorum.
Her yani mavi boyali,
Ucurtmanin pesindeyim.
Saman yolundayim.
Bir asifte dilberin koynundayim.
Usta yeter
Kulagimi birak.
Kavga II
- p. 40
Inancsiz olamaz
insan
Sabahlari ona yonelir
Iyilik dilerim Yaratandan
Tum yaratilmislar icin
Sozum su ki:
Bir gram demir, bir gram pamuk gibi
Bir saniye verebilirmisiniz avuclayip bana?
Makaslayip, olcebilirmisiniz zamani
Metre cinsinden?
Butun yaratilanlar ve insan kardeslerim
Analar kutsal elbette.
Toprak degilmi hepimizin anasi?
Her insan yavrusu
gibi dogdugum halde
Cirilciplak
Bir posta kolisinde pul
Vitrinde mal gibi
Etiket yapistirilmis sirtima
Don giydirmeden once:
Turk ve Islam.
Musluman, Hristiyan, Budist, Musevi,
her ne isek
Kac tane tanri yarattik bugune dek
Elbette her beyne bir evren gerek
Ancak:
"O" sifirdir, "O" na ne var diyebilirim ne de
yok
Birbirinin ziddi bu iki deger
Ondan gelir ona gider.
Ve matematik ikiyle baslar.
Ikinin yarisi bir, parcalanmisin parcasi
Kimin haddine dusmus tanriyi parcalamak
Bolebilirmisiniz zamani enine, boyuna
Durdurabilirmisiniz?
Bes duyumuzla algiladigimiz farkliliklari
Olusmadan once.
O halde
Sifir yasinda dogmadigina gore insan
Yasam bir devamliliktir.
Yaratilistan bu yana
Ve degismez kader
Ve gelecekte olasiliklar degil
Kesin olacaklar vardir.
Bizim caresizligimizdir olasilik
Akil ne? irade, bilgi ne?
Bir surec ki onlar da onun icinde
Bu ani hazirlayan sartlar "gecmis" oldukca
Algilanmadan
Neyi degistirecegiz biz
Soylermisiniz?
Bunlari
soyleyebildiysem eger
Bu da kader.
Oynamakta olan bir filim ki yasam
Geriye sarmiyor ve durmuyor makine
Oynayan ve seyreden de biz
Yaratilisin devamliliginda giz
Yaratilisin nedeni.
Yasamak ve yasatmak
Anahtari gercek mutlulugun
Odul de bu.
Belki insan
beyni
Gelistiricek onuncu duyguyu
Gecebilen isik hizini
Biraz daha yaklasacak "O"na
Ve gorulucek olumden ote
Kader
Cennetmi? Cehennemmi? Ne?
Biliyorum;
Akilciklari kavrasa da
Yikmamak icin oturduklari
Yozlasmis saltanati,
Reddecekler
Anlamis olmayi.
Insan
kardeslerim
Bunlari soylemekte
Alin yazim benim
Bu yaratanin kurgusu
Onun icindir ki
Butun gecmisi ve gelecegi
Yaratilan herseyle beraber
Kutsal sayarim.
Ben ben degilim.
Gercekte ayni "O" taplian her dinde
Bir sir ki olusup giden
Beyin, akil, ilim, irade ne varsa soyut ya da somut
deger
Onlar da bunun icinde.
Kavga
III - p. 43
Ben benim
Sen de sen
Ben senim
Sen de ben
Birlikte dogduk ikimiz
Ayni anadan
Ve birden
Ikiz degiliz
Bunca yil gecti aradan
Sac saca, bas basa
Koyun koyuna
Birlikte sevdik,
Birlikte dusman kesildik
Iyi birimiz,
Kotu birimiz
Veya tersi
Ben uyurken
Uctun kanatlarinda gecenin
Diledigince
Sen acken
Ben oturdum solen sofralarina
Ben yasattim sen oldurdun
Sen agladin, beni guldurdun
Isik buyur
kuculur
Artar eksilir, yok olur
Karanligi bulur,
Karanlik ne ise odur.
Tanri karanliktadir
Isik ona giden yol
Isik degisir,
O degismez
Sen satarsin ben
alirim
Iki arada bir derede kalirim
Soyle nesin? Ve neyim ben?
Olduk
Ayni yere gomulduk
Birlesti evrenlerimiz
Seninle ben hic ayrilmadik
Yaratilistan bu yana
Arasira da olsa
Degisik gozlerimizin rengi
Ve saclarimiz
Bazen uzun, bazen kisa
Ve renkli elbiseler giyeriz
Benzemez birbirine
Ben insanim
Sen hayvansin
Ben hayvanim
Sen insan
Derken kavga ettik
Suc isledik.
Ben av - sen
avci
Sen av - ben avci
-Babanin adi ne?
-Seninki?
-Nerede dogdun?
-Senin dogdugun yerde
-Insanlari seviyormusun? Butun canlilari da?
-Seni bile. Kavgacisin sen
-Degilim
-Seni hapse atarim
-Atamazsin
Gozlerimi yumarim, ucarim demir parmakliklar
arasindan
diledigimce dolasirim
-Ac birakirim
-Benim yerime sen yersin
-Uykusuz birakirim
-Sen uyuyamazsin ve gelmez karin yanina,
Asil suclunun sen oldugunu bilir
Ve arar o
ve duygularim uyandigimda beni koydugun hucrede
-Oraya muhakkak gelirim
-Oldururum seni
-Olduremezsin
Ben kiyamete kadar yasarim
-Sen kaplansin, ben de senin yedigin adam
-Kanindayim
-Namuzsuz hirsiz
-Akilli adam camura tas atmaz
-Ben camurum
Istersen su testisi
Istersen toprak olurum
Yeter ki daha fazla iseme ustume
Hasanoglu
Hasan -p. 101
Ne oluler gordum
ben
Kirmizi ikilideki gibi olmeden olen.
Olayi anlatirken
"Bismillah" dedi
Kel Ali'nin karisi Hatca hala
eliyle gosteriyordu yaranin yerini
Cenesinin altindan girmis kursun, tepesinden
cikmis
Jandarmalar katil Hasani pusuya dusurup
vurmuslar.
Ben cocuktum
1933 yili harman zamani
O gun
Karsan koyunden il merkezine kadar
Kari kizan boluk porcuk
Koyluler
Turhal-Amasya sosesine dizildiler:
Onde Mudur Riza Beyamca
Sonra cavus ve Jandarmalar
Atlari rahvan
ortada okuzler ve kagni
Kagnida bas asagi yatiyor
Hasanlarin Hasan'i.
Sallanan olu basi
kirec beyazi
damla damla yollarda
Tukenmis kani.
Sonda kelepceli elleriyle
Kagniya iple bagli
Hasan'in babasi Hasan
Suruklenmekteydi.
Onundeki kagnida yatan
ogul Hasan dogdugunda Yemendeydi
Ve de umit kesildigi icindirki asker babanin
donusunden
oglana adi verilmisti.
Gunes yanigi idi
yuzu,
Alni ak.
Dusen kasketinin alamamisti,
dimdik basi ciplak.
Gozleri iki dipsiz kuyu
Tukenmis suyu
aglayamiyordu.
Onunde Hasanlarin Hasan'i
ogul Hasanin olusu
Kagni ve okuzler
Jandarmalar
ve Mudur bey.
Gumus egerli atlar rahvan,
gorkemli katar.
Ben cocuktum
ve ilk gordugum oluydu bu
yil 1933'tu mevsim yaz.
Karsan koyunden
sehzadeler kenti Amasya'ya kadar
Efendilerimiz bebe-belik
bu katari izlediler.
Sonra; Zigala'li agrazin Recebi gordum;
Tanrinin rahmetine sual olmaz
Sulu satlican dediler
Okul arkadasimdi.
Sonra Bayburt'lu Murad'i gordum
Ercis Kockopru'de.
Bekrani Yako Aganin tas ocaklarinda koca kayanin
altinda
tepsi gibi yamyassi olmustu kafasi.
O guz dugunu olacakti.
donebilseydi koyune.
Saymakla bitmez
olum;
Su kirmizi ikilinin durdurdugu yurege kadar
Ne oluler gordum ben, olmeden olen
Sonra ana baba kardes ogul olusu.
Hayda be!
Sil bastan
Turkulerde nakarat ornegi:
Onde atlilar
gumus egerli atlari rahvan
Mudur Riza bey ve jandarmalar
ortada okuzler ve gicirdayip inlesin diye
Mazisina gaz yagi surulmus kagni.
Ustunde Hasanlarin Hasan'i,
Yollarda damla damla tukenmis kani.
Karsan koyunden il merkezine
Kadin, erkek, cocuk tum meraklilar,
Yemen gazisi ve dusen kasketini egilip
alamadigindan
Yagiz yuzunde ak alni acikta kalan
Hasan'i ve elbetteki var olan eskiya namusunu
Saygiyla alkisladilar.
Yil 1933 idi ve
ben cocuktum.
Elli yil sonra Ankara'da Cesi'nin mekaninda
Kirmizi ikilinin oldurdugu adamla birlikte
Butun kumar ve kabadayi alemini
Cesisi, Kotani vesairesiyle
Cani yurekten alkisliyorum.
Isikla birlikte
golgeler
Sancilar icindedir Halife Omer.
Bu yillarda ulkeyi idare edenler
Ne yazik ki eskiya namusunun
Ne oldugundan haberli degiller.
Hayda be!
Insanogullari
Kardeslerim
Dunyalilar
Hayda be!
Hayda be!
Hayda be!
1996
Ankara
Tut Beni
- p. 105
Islak avuclarinda
tut beni
Bir damla su degilmi ki yasamak,
Bu kayanin duldasinda
Bahari unutan kim.
Gel menekse toplayalim.
Islak avuclarinda tut beni.
Bilmece
- p. 106
Ankara'da
Kurtulus parkina yakin bir yerdeyim
Gece yarisi saat bir treni geldi-gitti
Bir bicak gibi boldu karanligi
Siren cigligi
Tren gelir gider
icinde yolculari
zengini yoksulu
umutlusu ya da umutsuzu
Kimi gelir kimi gider
Yaz gelir gider
Kis gelir gider
Yol gelir gider
Yil gelir gider
"O" gelir
Ben giderim.
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